metal tasting development

blood never tasted so sweet
because deep down
through it all
i loved myself always
it's why i’ve kept going
and will continue to keep

my heart wrapped up in tissue
paper folded neat
no adhesive
nor nails
no stitching in the pleats

just carefully placed
a warmth still seeping through
easily unfoldable
that paper patterned pew

i keep it safe
folded up in that place
pliability in the creases
builds character
gives strength
it brings a sense of calming
to be opened up again

no subconscious separation
dissociation to try and cope
just an appetite
a will
an abundance of hope

although damp from vulnerability
delicately held
it's present -

no bows
nor frills
or sealed up boxes
just a bulbous damp heart
tissue cradling
cupped in my own hands

the stench is whole
it saturates
because i understand

it’s godlike
it's strength
it’s a powerful feeling

i’m growing me
my own pulsating consent
the blood never tasted so sweet